Scintillations

Once upon a sunshine, we lay in bed, wondering if the sun would vanish just for an hour or two, so we could have yet another hour in bed where we would just be in each others embrace, the clouds oblidged and we shut our eyes once again, everything was peaceful.

Once upon a sunshine, i would be awake and you would be asleep. Time didn’t serve its hurtful agenda to keep us apart, it just gave us an excuse to be awake and asleep at the most odd hours, and it gave me the best reason to stay awake minutes till midnight.

Once upon a sunshine, i would land in Liverpool, groggy and missing you so much my heart would pop, walking out alone into the blistering cold, and wandering the cobblestone paths, never felt more alone. Yet, once upon that sunshine, i would land in Singapore, filled to the brim and overflowing with excitement, just happy that we were finally sharing a tiny speck of land right at the equators edge.

Once upon a sunshine, you would leave for school, and i would sit by the table watching you drink milo, frozen ice queen in the mornings, a hug a kiss, and i’d stand by the gate, a wave in hand, a half smile upon my face, i missed you already.

Once upon a sunshine, we woke up to different sunshines, flipped around and realized that the sunshine wasnt in our eyes.

I miss you bauby, and if i can’t wake to the sunshine which we saw in our eyes, everysunshine might as well be the last.

I love you.

I’m sorry for everything.

The moon. I have always been drawn to it. Connected, in some inexplicable way. A silent kinship. There’s the moon, asking to stay. All my life, I’ve regarded it with a solemn reverence. For the tempestuous storm it brews. The ebb and flow. Love, lust, and longing. Sorrow and anguish. Strength and hope. Brazen resilience. An image of change. Of life itself. Birth and death and rebirth. Continuous incontinuity. Everything amounts to this enormous beauty I know I will never fully be able to grasp. In all this, the moon reflects the heart of life. The kaleidoscope flux of the soul. The moon. It’s a cause for introspection. A mirror of who I have been, and a promise of who I can become.

I changed when you came into my life. Time and experience had left me rough around the edges. I learned to get on, without needing anything or anyone else. I never wanted to be different or try and be better for any other person. But then you happened. You showed me what it was to love. How beautiful it could be to share something like that with another person. And then I wanted to be better for you all of the time.

Happy 10 months baby.